how am i STILL sick? or, more accurately, how am i sick again? this is different. last week i had a cold. garden-variety cold. this is more like an enormous aching fuzzy head coupled with a swollen aching throat. no coughing or sneezing. but my neck is stiff, so i hope i don't have meningitis. :)

i guess before anyone feels too sorry for me i should point out that i went home with blues-club-boy and was even mostly sober when i decided i was going to. so as bad as i feel about breaking up with J, it doesn't mean i'm not a duplicitous person. or that i'm hurting more than he is. i didn't tell him about that but...i did tell him about frank asking me to go on holiday again and that i might go....and that was the point where he hung up. (not without saying goodbye, though, he's not a rude person.)

i had a really nice email discussion with a girl from my program this afternoon about feeling left out. she's incredibly popular, and yet here she is, sharing with me her insecurities, and it made me feel better about last weekend. i have two girls here i really really want to be close to. i need some female friends, you know?