something i am beginning to realize about myself is that i will put up with shit looooong past the point where it becomes intolerable.

and i am terrified, because i don't know how to NOT put up with shit.

especially when shit comes from someone i think i love, not that i would know, because i haven't even seen him in eight months.

not that i don't dish out my own kind of shit.

but not like this.

i can't be with someone who does nothing but make me cry, right? so i've written an extremely serious letter. i'm sure he'll dismiss it like he does everything else i pour straight from my heart. and then i'll have no choice. i guess. but that scares me shitless. i don't know how to do these things. i never did.