for the first time since i started this job, nearly six months ago, i feel dissatisfied. actually, i feel pissed off and trapped. through a series of events (overheard bitchfests) and conversations (with my blond/perky/utterly boring workmate amy) i have discovered that everyone hates my music. a lot. that it actually offends some people. this, on top of those ugly rumours that were flying around about me and bryon--because men and women can't just be friends, right???--well, i've had it. i need to get out of here. i've been far too comfortable. and even the good friendships i've made are starting to fail as people begin school and get busier. bryon and i shall bond together the one day a week we both work, and the rest of the time i'll do what i've been doing. which is having absolutely no personality. if i make people that uncomfortable when i try to foster a fun, high-energy work environment, then i will stop. and it's all business now. i don't think i've smiled [at work] in two whole days.

okay, i have to tell you all what amy said about my music. especially you, tim, this is about the hefner "dead media," album, the one that's much more electronic, like "the hefner brain." she said it reminded her of "clowns killing people." she also said that a lot of my music reminds her of "pot-smoking and that kind of mood." i absolutely cannot stand her anymore. we've been really friendly lately, even going out for drinks two weekends ago, but now i can't deal with her anymore. she asks too many questions about my personal life. she thinks i'm unfixably weird and she's not afraid to say so. i might scream.

thank god i have today off work.

i think i need to return to the real world. this is not it.

***

in other news: saturday night two of my friends from high school came over. mike, whom i saw (and kissed, oops) in july, and BJ, whom i haven't seen in three or four years. we had a nice time. actually we got quite drunk, which was unfortunate since i had to go to work hungover. but i hereby resolve to spend more time with them. BJ brought over two DVDs: _amores perros_ and _killing zoe_.

a related rant about work: i was telling amy about the boys coming over, and she asked which movies they brought. when i told her, she wrinkled up her nose and said she was sorry she asked. i guess those movies have "that kind of mood."