happy birthday to jen! (that makes me want to sing a little song, something like "merry fucking birthday" a la south park...)

and happy birthday to me, tomorrow! whee! i will probably not get drunk--that will be done tonight or this weekend. but i'm sure i'll have lovely food. and my parents want to go see "road to perdition." written by an iowa native! woop!

so, my time in the UK was pretty good. i still don't know when i'm going to settle down and actually be myself instead of being so worried all the time. K and i fought less but we still did have a few major yelling matches. i think the friends-group is changing now that K is finally tired of talking to the wife of the guy that i'm tired of talking to. complicated. but i think when i go back i'm going to make my own damn friends so i'm not reliant upon talking to whomever happens to show up at the pub.

K has given me a birthday present and i don't know what it is yet! ooh, i love suspense. i also love that i know exactly what i want to get him for his birthday. which is a long 6 months away.

i was in NYC last weekend, for the first time in my life. i had a great time. mirandapanda met me at the airport and then we went to her apartment, which has a great view of the river and NJ. then we went to a kosher-vegetarian-"natural" pizza place. and then to sleep! tired! up early on sunday. went to jackson heights for indian food, but we were early, so we had coffee in a latino diner and talked about everything. indian food was great. all-you-can-eat. then we had to walk around for a while because we ate-all-we-could.

then to battery park. saw wall street (strange-looking when deserted, as it is on sunday) and the pub where dylan thomas died and talked to random people on the street in the process of finding said pub. the biggest thing about this morning is that we received many omens that we should find gregorio, so i am going to do so. many omens. creepy omens. including a 15-yr-old kid who looked just like him, whom we asked how to find the pub.

then we went on the staten island ferry and went to the statue of liberty, and laid on the grass looking up at her. then it was tired time, so we made the big trek back home, showered, rested, and went out for dinner. i picked out a restaurant called A from a magazine miranda had, and it's a good thing. the chef was super friendly and the food was really really really good, and it was inexpensive, and the whole restaurant was about the size of an average restaurant bathroom. i had a grilled avocado with spinach mousse where the pit normally is, and miranda had a honey-baked pear, and then we split a mushroom stew in a chewy bread bowl with this sort of coconut-ginger broth poured over. yum. and they had no liquor license so miranda kindly went across the street to buy us some beer. :)

then we walked home and went up on the roof of her apartment building to look at the skyline, drink beer, and smoke cigarettes. it was really a lovely end to the day, until i screamed like a little girl when i saw a roach! then we ran inside and went to bed. ahhhh.

traveling home was all right, i even got myself to the airport on time after bagel breakfast with miranda and a solo trip to the hungarian pastry shop she told me about. i took the bus to the airport, and now i have seen the langth of harlem and some of queens, but i would have missed my flight if i hadn't asked a delta pilot on the bus what terminal my airline flew out of (surprisingly NOT the terminal labeled "main terminal"). whew!

ok. enough now. must shower. have lunch with mom. and chat on the internet with K!

i am flying back to the UK tomorrow. staying for just over two weeks. trying not to think of it as a "transatlantic booty call"--and succeeding! i regret not being able to spend the whole time with my parents, but it will be good to be back with K again.

had lunch with those campers today. it was good fun. everyone says they miss me. find it hard to believe but flattering.

last weekend: friday night had a few beers and a gyros with everyone's favorite collection of adorable gayboys, who think they can poke wantonly at my breasts, considering them to be some sort of novelty. well, i guess they are. anyway. saturday had far too much italian food with sonyl and anna and then a small group of us went to iowa's premier gay club for some dancin' and drinkin'. good times.

K wants me to come back to the UK. now. i think i might. for a week. then come back here. i'm so excited that for the first time in my life, i don't *have* to be separated from my loved ones if i don't want to be. K and i can pool our financial and temporal resources and BE together. i'm old enough to do this now. take off in a plane and be with the one i love. and come back to my parents, to whom i am so close. this might work out well.

other people want me too....but these are people i'm not supposed to be speaking to. my old campers. it breaks my heart to tell them no. god, i love their energy and their creativity. they make me feel so alive. and i miss working there so much. right now we're brainstorming ways to outfox the law. we can have lunch this sunday if we just do it the right way...

we need rain. the corn is curling its leaves and it looks like a damned pineapple field out there...

tonight went to a BBQ at my cousin's. that was tolerable as long as i could avoid meat-stench and weird questions about K or the U.K. actually it was a pretty good time, and i ate lots of corn and potatoes.

doing some driving around on the back roads. listening to some american rock. oh yeah.

a great weekend in ohio.

tim picked me up at the airport, then we ate at the blue nile with dave and jen and kris and tyler! disparate friends of me, unite! awesome. good food as always...i've been thinking about that place all year while in the UK. then we met kris' fiance and saw their new house and their home cinema...twinge of jealousy...and their pets. home, sleep.

friday, tim and i had a chipotle lunch and then went to ComFest, a community festival in its 30th year. it's never abandoned its 60s-era ideals, and that's pretty cool. on our way to the beer tent i was accosted by a long-lost friend!!! yay keara!!! total surprise. sat under the trees listening to bands and drinking beer and catching up.

then to the airport to pick up miranda. but, this being a lucky weekend, i also ran into matt da hair (bizarre, caustic pal of mine) and dave (again), who was picking up chris (another admired acquaintance of mine), at the airport. then miranda! she has a new job and seems happy. jessica came to pick us up and then we listened to heart and the stones and smoked cigarettes out the car window as we drove to our ancestral home of gambier.

taco bell and a trip to big bear for beer. then to the hotel (luxe) to watch iron chef and stuff our face with junk food and beer....mostly just beer...then clare and jamie came over and we talked, and then i went for a walk and then to an early bed. on my walk i revisted north campus. then a cop car started driving so slowly back and forth that i got nervous. oh well.

saturday morning got up sort of early, got ready, and went to lunch with athena (my greek professor, to whom i fall prostrate in awe) and her new husband...um....one of my classmates. it was a nice day. athena looked at my photos and dissertation while A. cooked us soup. then we made soymilk in her Soy Foods Center, which resembles a Mr. Coffee. fresh soymilk is hot and thin and it tastes really good and not chalky.

then to the rehearsal, which was sweatyish. then to the dinner....but i decided not to go. that was okay. i'm sure that my sandwich at the deli was pretty poor compared to the food at the dinner, but i needed to talk to the just-arrived erik! also we ran into old friend alix, who is living in gambier for the summer, so we invited her to our room for a night of fun. heh. all very nice. we made the market pilgrimage for beer, then returned to our rooms to change into something a little more comfortable. again, lots of funny TV programs (expose of martha stewart, iron chef, full house--just to torture alanmiller) and lots and lots of beer. and the junk food. oh yes. we had miranda and erik and alix and her boyfriend evan and alan and then jen stopped by! all wonderful people. at the end of the night (4 am) it was just me and jess and alan on the huge bed, drinking and watching TV and making fun of the people on TV. sleep.

wake up. bookstore breakfast: coffee, bagels, magazines. sitting around and sharing what we were reading in our different magazines. see what i miss about kenyon?

the wedding was amazing although i don't remember much of it. i just stood up front and sweated and cried a little and sweated some more. we were all dripping into our bouquets. jen looked absolutely gorgeous. dave has cut off his beard and now i must say he is gorgeous as well. everyone happy. the reception was nice; we had the cool kids' table. there was a fajita bar and i drank buckets of iced tea. eventually it was over. tim and jess and i toured south campus and i took pictures to show K. then tim and i drove home. stopped at waffle house for nostalgia and food. slept.

now i am alone in his apartment, and now i will shower and take a cab to the airport. home again home again jiggity jig.