this is my first weekend off in what seems like a while.

friday i unloaded the truck (yay muscles) and did my random meditative detail cleaning that i sometimes do at work. you know, like unscrew the wall vents, degrease them, and run them through the dishwasher before replacing them. or like wiping down the herb/spice bottles. or sitting in the corner with a toothbrush and some bleach water.

anyway, then i ran into that boy from work, and he asked what i was doing for the weekend (second time this week he's asked) and then he said i should call him, so i did, but way too late to do anything. i am sort of avoiding this situation. because i have no idea what we would do, or talk about, and i'm not really attracted to him so it's not like we'd be just messing around or something. leaving me with the idea that i would probably be uncomfortable and so would he.

then i went and hung out with this girl from work and a lot of her friends. which also developed into a confusing and frustrating situation. for some reason, it turns out that her boyfriend is this kid from my town whom i'd never met before because he's older, and we were having such a good time telling small-town stories, and then we started having this intimate conversation about his feelings about my work pal, and their relationship stories, and she got pissed off because she thought we were flirting, even though we were talking about her. and i don't know, some other people were upset about something else, and it was weird and there were weird random characters there. and lots of beer. and maybe something else, product of an odyssey across town taken earlier in the evening. a rather strange trip.

then i went to thumbs with matt and clint and alanna and allen and oh dear god was i drunk by that point. hmm. crashed out.

early early this morning went to the farmers' market with mom. a good time. bought tomatoes, asparagus, two loaves of bread, and goat cheese. also, sugared pecans/cashews/almonds and a bag of kettle corn for movie night tonight with my parents.

going to watch some TV and fall asleep. tomorrow: high school graduation. 75 miles away. oh yes. it will be.....well, completely boring. yay.

a relaxing weekend, or an exhausting one, or both.

friday i got up, made breakfast, walked three miles, went to work, and cooked for eight hours. then i rode around with a bunch of random people for an hour, then i went to the big city with matt, clint, and allen. to a german beer hall. where they serve liters and half-liters. it was fun. everyone was in a great mood, and we played lots of different music on the ride down, and did i mention there was beer?

anyway, obligatory snack/breakfast after the bar closed and then home to pass out on the couch around 4 a.m. at first, i couldn't find an empty bed and was poking at the beds to see if there was an occupant. woke up allen. whoops!

woke up sore and tired but pleased. turned down an invitation for tonight in favor of TV. i'm so tired from yesterday.

so. a boy at work gave me his phone number but i'm not really sure how to interpret it. i think he might make a pretty good friend but i have no idea what we would talk about since we have virtually nothing in common. it was a little exciting, though.

still phoning with frank. there's been mention of him visiting me here but i am reluctant to think about it too much after what i went through for two years. that blows my mind, actually. for the first time i can feel that time passes quickly. usually i think time moves on in a leisurely fashion, except for vacations and parties and things like that.

work is work. (word is truth.) not much else to say about that. starting to loosen up a little.

***

i just got spam from "termination h. washcloth." that's even better than herman t. zweibel.

and last january when i worked in the bookstore i saw a credit card receipt for "deify law."

yes, that's me, tootling down the road with my completely valid driver's license and my car, which no longer requires me to blow into a tube every ten minutes. kick ass.

of course now i need a new headlight, which prohibits me from driving at night until i get it fixed. hopefully tomorrow while i'm at work.

saturday night i grilled with clint, matty, and allen. that was really nice. very relaxed. beer, garlic bread, asparagus. i fell asleep during the movie afterwards.

sunday my parents and i took the elders to eat brunch. then i got to go see my cousin's new baby. i was having fun until i was pressured into holding the baby, then i was absolutely petrified. i always think babies will start crying if i hold them, or maybe i would drop the baby or hold its head wrong....ack. that's what i get for being an only child.

tuesday night had a mini-breakdown. shitty. wednesday at work was not so great, either. wednesday evening i saw anna, and everything got a lot better. she came back to visit for a few days and brought a boy back with her. he was super nice. unbelievably easy to talk to. i don't meet people that i can actually talk to these days. anna also gave me a rather nice gift.

her gift means i am really, really enjoying my day off. :) tra la la, watching TV, cooking, so calm, la la......

other than that, just sittin'. workin'. jealous as hell-in' about madame_x's gambier pilgrimage. wish i could be there. really miss tim and tyler and kenyon.....actually i've been missing kenyon for a couple weeks now, badly, and missing the UK as well. i need money so i can go to chicago, but maybe i can find cheap plane tickets and time off work and feed my friend cravings.