my pattern on saturdays and sundays: wake up late, K goes to pub to watch cricket/football/rugby, i make myself a lovely brunch, smoke, watch shows like dawson's creek and popular, have a bath, clean the flat a bit, walk into town (one hour), spend evening at pub with friends, then either get pissed and have a fun/silly/potentially embarassing night or come home and watch movies with K while i make pizza or some such TV-friendly food.

i really like this pattern, although i think K finds it lazy. the only problem is that i have now turned into a teen-telly-watching, pancakes-extra-butter-eating, weed-smoking, tea-slurping fiend. i know random facts like that dawson's creek on channel 5 is sponsored by the same brand of deodorant i use here (palmolive [!] soft and gentle with aloe soft jasmine scent). i did not buy it because of the show. i bought it because it kind of smells like bubble gum. also because in the states palmolive only makes things like washing-up liquid. certainly not deodorant. i think.

also, i love popular for real, not in the ironic way i watch dawson's creek. and it's written by a kenyon professor, so bonus points there. the dialogue is smart. and sometimes instead of going to the pub, i walk around aimlessly for a couple hours, stop in a park if it's sunny, come back home and watch charmed, or buffy. oof.

and i have been perfecting my homemade pizza. i thought the spinach, caramelized onion, gorgonzola, cheddar, and pine nut pizza was a particular triumph. and it's so satisfying to watch people fork over ten quid for delivery pizza, or £3.99 for a chill-case pizza to bake at home, when i can make ten at home for just a few pounds.

two nights ago i met a girl named heidi on the streets, and she asked me for a cigarette and i picked her up and we walked around drinking beer and then i brought her to a little party, and now i think my social life has seriously changed. the last two nights are a complete blur of beer and walking around stoned with heidi, nate, jean-max, adam, and god knows who else.

she looks like cameron diaz and she talks about teaching my ex-boyfriend a lesson if i want, and how maybe she can find me a job, or talk to this girl who harassed me on the street once. she is bizarre and fascinating and really badass. i'm not even sure i like her yet, but damn has she made things interesting... and i think she's going to make something out of our ragtag group. she's a serious organiser.

there is an amazing photograph in the book _from heaven and earth: unseen by the naked eye_ which i've put up on the wall. in this place, i have few things on my wall, unlike everywhere else i've ever lived. it's an aerial photograph of a tributary area in the colorado river and shows a deltaic system feeding into the gulf of california. it also has a lot of geographical terminology i don't understand, but what i do understand it is: it looks like an artist's genius representation of the burning bush from the book of exodus. absolutely stunning.

had a dorm-style sleepover with nathan: tons of smoke/beer/wine and music and walking around and also tons of junk food. it was really cool. but i hate this feeling i get whenever i'm around someone for a whole day...like i can't wait to be by myself, no matter how much i like the new person. i don't get that way with K but i do get that way with almost all of my friends, and i don't want to seem like i'm pushing people away, i just have a need to be by myself a certain amount of time every day....i don't know. anyway, i am very glad to have a new friend, it's just taking me time to remember how to have the kinds of friendships i had at college. the kinds of conversations we have together are so much like the ones i have with my friends from college, and so different from the conversations i have here, or with my friends at home. it's really nice.

does anyone else think that nicolas cage's character from adaptation looks a lot like gene wilder?

i have had so much fun the last two days!!! on sunday nate and i smoked and walked through the countryside along the thames in utter darkness and muddiness. then we looked at architechure and ate chocolate and drank snapple. we met up with my friend steve and went back to his to listen to music and chill....until 3 am....oops. and i still had to walk over an hour to get home. the conversation was worth staying up late for, as was the music.

yesterday K and i stayed in the pub all evening with some friends (mike and ryan and steve) and then adam_l and nate and a cool canadian guy came to play with us, and then most of us went to a cocktail bar and smoked vast numbers of cigarettes and had crazy conversation and some of us kept sneaking outside to smoke and i don't actually remember most of it, but it was fun, i know that for sure. home after 3 am again, this time with a very drunk and funny K.

la la la la la la! also i have things to sell if anyone is interested.

opposite my apartment building there is an excuse for a park. in this 'park' there is a grocery cart/trolley. it has somehow gotten here from a sainsbury's supermarket, but i don't know which one. sometimes the kids who live around here push each other around the park in the trolley. sometimes i wonder if they know how really sad it is that they have nothing better to do with themselves at the age of 15. also, i wonder who brought the trolley here, and how.

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spent three lovely days in london. my new friend nate and i went to the body worlds exhibit and had indian food for lunch in a hole-in-the-wall in the east end. after i dropped him off, i walked around edgware road and stopped in a pub, where i am 80% certain i saw sharon from eastenders. ooh, minor celebrity! yay! then i camped out in my hotel room eating a lebanese takeaway and watching martin bashir's interview of michael jackson.

the next morning i walked around hyde park and kensington gardens. i ate lunch at a canteen in a vietnamese cultural centre in north london. late afternoon i took the slow bus from the marble arch across town to the tower of london, gawping at absolutely everything along the way...the regent street shops, trafalgar square, et cetera. the first time i've seen any of those things. then i stopped in a pub, talked to K on the phone, and set off for my "jack the ripper walking tour." really interesting tour guide...shame about my fellow tourists. a couple hours later, straggled home utterly exhausted. ate leftover vietnamese noodles while sitting in a hot bath, watching "pretty woman."

wednesday i spent all morning in the selfridge's food hall. i got a french cheese and a danish cheese for myself, and two rollmops and a smoked eel fillet for K. viewed some very famous and very expensive wines. then had coffee a few blocks away, somewhere more within my price range, while waiting for afternoon services at one of the two synagogues across the street from my hotel. i think i picked the wrong one...the men there didn't seem to want me in their little club. you know, in case i seduce one of them or pollute them or something. sigh. anyway, then went home to K and quiz night and all the regular fixtures.

i am watching squirrels leap in slow motion on the TV. i love david attenborough's nature programs. programmes. i love them. animals are so fucking cool.

the other day i only had a 20 pound note, and i asked the bus driver if he could change it but he couldn't. so i walked to the off-licence to change it and maybe buy some cigarettes or a soda to have while waiting for the next bus. changed the note and looked out the window...the bus driver had pulled the bus up alongside the shops instead of continuing along his route. stunned, i walked outside and the bus driver motioned for me to hop on...he had been waiting just for me! i have to say, that made me feel good for the rest of the day. a whole bus full of people and that man thought it would be nice if i didn't have to wait another 20 minutes for another bus.

also good: walking along with a stone face, not wanting to make eye contact with the drunks who sit near the library all day, not because they're bad people, but because i can't spare a penny right now. then one of them blew a little harmonica trill in my direction, and when i smiled, he said, "that's better." i was really pleased, until he started a tirade about why can't people ever be happy with the weather? and then i walked on.

i've had a nasty sinus infection for two weeks now so my research has been suffering. i think i'll be back on track tomorrow, though.

K's birthday was smashing. eight of us had dinner at a polish restaurant and then cocktails afterward. he loved loved loved his present, which was a pair of tickets to see his favorite jazz pianist, who is finally doing another show in london. i am so thrilled to have gotten tickets, because the last show keith jarrett did in london was sold out.