it's been a while since i read a book that really fed my soul. i used to give myself so much time when i was at kenyon, reading positive things and meditating three times a week at one point...long walks and talks with my friends who are real friends, soulmate type friends. god, i miss kenyon so much sometimes. lately i am either at work or sleeping or getting intoxicated in some form. i've been getting a lot accomplished, but i haven't been doing much thinking.

so i read a book called (don't laugh) the simple life, a collection of essays from a variety of people who practice frugality in the modern world. i realized that if i want to make it in chicago, i need to be one whole hell of a lot smarter about my finances. so i've been clipping coupons, balancing my checkbook--kind of, buying less crap and calling in owed money. i saved $42 in two different shopping trips to staples, by using reward money from my mom's business purchases and combining the coupons from our sunday paper with some coupons donated by my mom's friends. god, that felt good. i even went to the mall and got a bra, three pairs of socks, and a sterling silver necklace for only $24 by using combined $10-off coupons. shit. and now i am on the lookout for salvaged things...today we got in some new sugar shakers at work. i saw my boss unwrapping them to wash before their first use, and i noticed that they were wrapped in some sturdy-looking paper, almost like waxed tissue paper. i said that if she was going to throw that paper away, then i would take it for wrapping breakable items, since i'm already starting to pack. she said i should go ahead, but it wasn't all that type of paper...i looked, and i absolutely could not believe what i saw. purple stripes, florals, blue willow, abstract prints....every sheet of paper was totally different. so i took them all. as we pondered why the company that makes plasticware would bother to wrap them so nicely, i got it. that paper probably has unnoticeable imperfections, and was probably sold at salvage price to a company that needs packing materials. and i am going to use some of it as packing materials, sure, but some of these patterns are so gorgeous i would wrap gifts in them, or use them as filler for collages. i am so psyched. synchronicity is finally working its way back into my life. i am going to be reading again, all the time, and i will be filled with thought as i was before. these last two years have been instructive, to be sure, but i do not belong here.

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speaking of people who do not belong: tomorrow night i am taking boy-from-work (black, from detroit, kissed him on the fourth of july, calls late at night--you know the one, right?) to hear my cousin (has lived in hebron for three years, baghdad for a year, wants to serve god through resolution of violent conflict) speak on her experiences. i am pretty excited about this, too. i'm bringing the bodies to her talk. i hope it's a good crowd. when she spoke at my church people got pissed off because she condemned the current administration for human rights abuses, and this is before abu ghraib got out. so it should be a lively talk. i am going to be living about six blocks from her in a month! oh my god! i am so freaking excited. anyway. so this will be my first real planned outing with boy-from-work. i've thought about movies. i know he hangs out at a local club but doesn't drink alcohol more than a couple times a year, but i don't think it's my type of place so i haven't gone. don't get me wrong, i am still waiting for frank, but i think it would be good fun to get to know a completely new and different type of person. we have a lot of fun at work talking about films and music and iowa and whatnot, so maybe i will have fun with him yet.

my birthday:

woke up, had coffee and opened presents. (digital camera--the first working camera i've owned in nearly three years--and some kitchen gadgets. i will have a kitchen to envy this fall.) ate coffeecake and drank more coffee.

went to the local gardens. they've nearly quadrupled since i used to take my campers there for hour-long jaunts. my parents and i spent three hours there and we still blitzed through the place. i could spend a whole day there if it weren't so damned hot! they have a butterfly wing you can walk through where 5000 butterflies are flying, eating, and makin' babies all around. i felt like i had to move so slowly and be so cautious...one of the rules of the enclosure is to look before walking or sitting to make sure you don't crush any of the precious insects. it was amazing. i felt so happy being around all that nature.

then we had a delicious lunch at the cafe. hummus plate, veggie sandwich, caramel hazelnut cheesecake. home for a nap and a shower.

i drove back to town and went over to erin's to try to rev up some energy. went across the street to hear some guys, um, rap. it was really surreal. this new guy we've been hanging out with is 46 years old and he's obsessed with tigers and celestial patterns. he finds awesome ashtrays at good will. and all his clothes are st. louis sports teams logos.

then i had to try to organize some people for supper. allen, natalie (yay!), clint, and i went for mexican and a bucket of corona. then they crashed out and played video games while i had drinks three and four. i was so proud of myself for not starting really early in the day and doing dumb drunk things. we went and got all dressed up and then started out. we were going to go dancing but nothing was going on so we went someplace a little more intimate. the bartender became my new pal and there was an awfully attractive boy who actually seemed interested in talking to me and i was wearing an awesome hat. we invented the phrase, "i'm going to go visit my jewish friend now." it means whatever you want it to mean. but it did have something to do with the bartender, and the awfully cute boy, and maybe smoking something in the bathroom.

we cruised around a little more before deciding to get gyros and then go home. i walked the whole way back barefoot, as did natalie. damn girly shoes.

fell asleep for seven lovely hours listening to the thunderstorm. met my mom at the grocery store in the morning, came home, prepared sweet corn for freezing with mom and dad.

not too bad of a night. calmer than it could have been, and many times better than last summer's b-day disaster.

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i got my chicago apartment assignment. one bedroom, furnished. just what i wanted.